I’ve been sat here for a while now wondering how best to broach this subject. Not because it's difficult or painful to write about, but because I worry that people will look at me quizzically and ask,
“Umm… Aren't you supposed to be into positive mindset and stuff?”
The answer to that question is quite obvious... Yes, I'm very much ‘into’ positive mindset ‘stuff’. I think when we’re at our best and our mindset is positive, we can achieve pretty much anything we set our minds to. A bit like a superhero, except without the cape and slightly bizarre obsession with Lycra (unless you're into that, in which case just go for it - I respect your boldness).
However, (here’s the bit I've been putting off writing - deep breath), my mindset has not been all that positive recently.
It started off small. Little flecks of self-doubt here. Small pangs of putting myself down there. Dribs and drabs of negativity which built up over the course of a few weeks and stopped me from doing anything. Before I knew it I'd become so wrapped up in my fear and self-doubt that I was paralysed by it. Not going anywhere.
What made it worse was my inner voice saying,
“You're supposed to be a positive mindset specialist and you can't even control your own!”
I felt like a fraud. And then this weekend came along. Jen and I travelled to Ipswich for our final Her Invitation weekend (sob!) and had the most fantastic day. We worked with the wonderful Caroline Esterson and Wendy Gannaway from www.ConnectingDots.com who not only made me want to run away and start a fan club so I could hang out with them, they also helped me confront the fear and self-doubt I’d been carrying round for the past few weeks.
I realised just how much I've been holding myself back. By not continuing to put in the work on my mindset, I'd faltered. Don't get me wrong, I'd not gone backwards and retreated into a negative little hobbit hole, but my positivity had taken a real knock.
However, (and here's the good news) acknowledging and accepting the fact that I'd stumbled (without judgement) is the first move towards getting back on track.
I've woken up today and am already feeling better. I'm already taking the steps I need to take to regenerate and renew my mindset. And I'm sat here writing this blog!
Honesty bomb: - No one feels positive ALL THE TIME. Not even positive mindset coaches.
Creating a positive mindset is a lot like growing a plant. You plant the seed. Water it. Nurture it. Wonder why you're bothering trying to grow anything - you've never had green fingers. Panic when it starts to wilt. Google what to do. Start getting the hang of it. Watch it flourish. You get the picture. It takes time and effort. Sometimes you’ll take a backwards step. But keep going. Because the difference a positive mindset can make is life changing.
I may have fallen off the mindset wagon but I'm now back on it. And I'm here for you if you want to figure out how to do the same.
We're all human.
We're all just trying to be the best we can be.
It might just take some work. Isn't that always the way with the best things?
We're bringing you our Her Invitation ‘Power & Influence Workshop’ on Tuesday 31st May at Exeter College in Oxford.
This workshop is for women who want:
to influence the direction of their work and personal life with greater clarity
to expand their comfort zones, even though they might be scared or unsure
their ideas and opinions to be taken more seriously
to be heard when they speak
to articulate what they need and want more effectively to colleagues, employers & loved ones
to have more of an impact at work and home
to kick any self-doubt they have into touch
a stronger, inner self-belief
to embrace positivity with a clear and simple strategy
to raise their daughters to harness their own calm, beautiful inner power
to own their space, make clearer personal boundaries and say 'no' more often
Women who attend our workshops either put themselves through or they ask their employer to fund this as personal/professional development. And it means a lot to them.
This isn't just a workshop where you come away all revved up and ready to go....what you will learn on this day will have a profound effect on just about every area of your life.
Some of the things past attendees have said are;
“That day changed my life!”
"The programme fundamentally allowed me to see how I was standing in the way of my career progression”
"The programme gave me an awareness of how my behaviour could be perceived, a range of practical tools to build confidence and assert oneself and a personal belief that I have significant control of how my life progresses"
"On the train home after the workshop I thought about how I’d been giving my power away and I think I’ve probably been making excuses in case I fail, for fear of getting it wrong – not any more – this has changed!”
“I’m trying to find solutions to problems now rather than putting a sticky plaster over them”
“My perception of myself was that ‘I’m a mum who goes to work’, I never saw myself as potential senior management material, since the programme though, that’s where I’m heading”